All That You Can’t Leave Behind
[photopress:sfu_indian_arm.jpg,thumb,alignright]It’s night, I’m feeling pretty contemplative, so I think it’s time to answer the most asked question that I’ve had since making known my plans to head out West…..the question ‘why?’ Why BC, why so far, why back to school, and why not a school that is closer.
It’s not a simple question, and fittingly neither is the answer. I live at home with my parents, who are fantastic. I have an amazing family nearby, run for a track club with a great coach and great people in it, go to a church with a super community where I am heavily involved; I have many amazing friends here, my best of who’ve I’ve known for 22 years. Life is comfortable here, it is familiar here, and I really do like so many things about being here.
I am not one who really likes change. I used to really dislike it, but as I’ve mentioned before, the last two years my life has been in a great upheaval. I believe this has been God’s way of helping me to learn to accept change, to appreciate it what it brings in the long run. In the past few years I have seen many close friends experience the exciting change that marriage brings, with more friends quickly approaching that change. Being a single guy at 26, life has just seemed to be fairly constant. With all that happened in this two year period, I came to realize that for me, change was in order. I have felt a need for an adventure of my own, before I am ready to really settle down with my life.
Going to school was an easy choice (which seems amusing to me, as I was never one to really enjoy school)…I hope to run a business when I’m finished, but don’t feel quite ready yet, and hope to gain some better business sense. As well, I hope to one day teach at college, which will at minimum require me to have a degree.
That still leaves the issue of why so far away. One look in my room, filled with pictures and posters of Western Canada, will give a bit of an idea. The climate for running is great in BC, and the teams at Simon Fraser are really competitive. In 7-week trip, which my best friend and I titled “Go West 2000″, I learned to love the West (and this grew after returning 2 years later on a another great trip). But there’s more to it than that.
With the upheaval, and all of the tough situations that occurred over the last while, I have really felt the need to have a fresh start in some areas of my life. I have had a bumpy ride with regards to romantic relationships and just learning to find myself in that respect. Now, I don’t believe that I can run away from my past; I do, however, think that stepping out of my bubble will really challenge me and help me to dig down and come to know myself better, and to rely on God more than I would here. It’s a new environment, with new faces and opportunities. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have hopes of meeting that ’special someone’ out there. Whether or not that does happen is not up to me, but there is a spark of hope, and I’m ready to see where God leads me.
In one of my favourite books, Wild at Heart, John Eldredge says that “in the heart of every man is a desperate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” This is my battle, to find myself and grow to be the man God has called me to be, and to live my adventure. At times, when I think of it, it is scary; I am leaving so much behind. But, I know that this is exciting change; change that will pave the way for what is meant to be.